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Twas the Night Before Christmas, Alone on My Convertible Sofa Bed

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the houseNot a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;Except me on my convertible sofa feeling like a louse,Banned there for the night by my wife upstairs.We had grown apart through the years,I was a jerk and had caused too many tears.The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;and I doubted his existence more than even I could bear.The children were nestled all snug in their beds,While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;And mamma in her 'kerchief', upstairs in tearsand I rethinking my life as I wear my warm cap, Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,But sleeping alone on Christmas is only for a sap,even if the convertible sofa bed is comfy as a lap.When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,I sprang from the convertible sofa to see what was the matter.Away to the window I flew like a flash,Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snowGave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,And I wished my wife and I together could see such a glow.When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,With a little old driver, so lively and quick,I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.I ran up the stairs and turned the lights on with a flick,Gently woke my wife and told her to come quick, it was not a game.More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"My wife and I flew down the stairs,She was still angry, why does life have to have so many layers?So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roofThe prancing and pawing of each little hoof.My wife and I were on the ground,Hiding behind the convertible sofa, not making a sound,Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!Such joy I had not seen in so longCould I have that in my life, feel like I belong?He had a broad face and a little round belly,That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;My wife kindly bumped my shoulder in reproof, But when I looked at her, she was grinning like a goof.My heart filled with love and grew as I looked at her face,And knew her's was a soul was full of grace.A wink of Santa's eye and a twist of his head,Soon gave us to know we had nothing to dread;He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,And laying his finger aside of his nose,And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."Then I took my wife's hand, told her how sorry I felt,That I was lucky to have the life I was dealt.She apologized too, as she took my handI felt like a man, and no longer banned.Now lying here together, loving sleepy headsLeaving behind the convertible sofa bed.

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